I am tired of waiting for something, always thinking that I am missing it. That I’ve already missed it and have kept running anyway.
That’s a good question and I’ll answer it in a different way.
I have missed thinking, for myself, about myself and only about myself.
I have missed thinking about people I care about.
I have missed caring about people.
Oh, how I have missed money. And not being a poor student waiting for the golden ticket out.
I have missed the light at the end of the tunnel, running towards it with swift feet.
I have missed trains, and where they can take me.
It’s easy, being hollow. Easy to slip into that mood, harder to get out. But not impossible.
I just woke up one day and decided that I was going nowhere at the moment and that I wasn’t going to go nowhere any longer.
Everything that I want isn’t out of reach, I just have to stretch a bit further again. I will fear growing anyways, now or later. But maybe there is no later, so I’ll better shoot for the stars right now. Even if that means hard decisions, cuts into the fabric of my life that I have tried and tried to sew together with helpless seams.